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To f (20)


— To f,

I just noticed that I cannot continue to go to the fast food restaurant in my station on the days I put up several weeks ago when it becomes too warm to wear a long coat and thick long skirt. This is because of the harassment I have been experiencing and for which I asked you advice before. To avoid abusers, going to the same place around the same time on the same day is the last thing I should do. So far, heavy winter clothes have helped me keep my mind stable but I do not think I can if I start wearing lighter things mainly because of the stares I have been suffering from.

As for this act of waiting for you, I didn’t really believe you would come see me, I should have been given up long time ago, there are a few other ways that you could contact me if you have the will anyway, and in case that there is, if any, a reason you want to but cannot come see me, you would not be happy imagining I am surrounded by men who have an unusual and unthinkable obsession with my thigh or bust or those who enjoy behaving that way when I am not wearing heavy clothes.

I knew this act itself was strange but thinking the situation was a little unusual, I gave it a try. I am sorry if this has caused trouble to you.

Thank you for everything. Although there was not much fun, I am happier than I was one year ago. Had it not been for your being irritated or angry about me, I wouldn’t be so open as now. (There are some cases that I do still don’t understand why you were angry that much. I think there was a misunderstanding.)

To people who are nice and kind,
Since I started openly care for f, I met many people who helped me out. I have never seen people with such beautiful expressions. Thank you very much. I wish I could have become closer to f and you.

(Maybe I’m too sensitive, but right after I started writing this, a cell phone noise was heard a few times behind the wall of where I am sitting. Incidentally, cell phones seldom go off in the next room, and I think they went off a few times when there was a move in my actions.)









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